No Need to Compare…


The Right Foundation


We’ve all seen it, or unfortunately been guilty of it…. Wearing what could be a potentially cute outfit with the WRONG undergarments. “PLOCKIN!” as Martin Lawrence would say, in all the wrong places! But it doesn’t have to be like this. EVERY piece of underwear serves a purpose and has a function! INVEST!! Ladies, along with wearing clothes that fit properly (ex.Don’t get a 4 if you’re a 10!), the right undergarments will eliminate unsightly rolls, muffin tops, panty-lines and bulging cleavage. The most flattering and eye catching shape is the hourglass, which was THEE thing in 40’s and 50’s. Fortunately, technology has made the structured styles of those decades more comfortable, so take advantage. The right foundation creates a SMOOTH silhouette that will help you look more slim and polished, and it can be achieved no matter how big or small you currently are. Oh, and I’ve seen very skinny women fall victim to this plenty of time as well. SO, if you’re unsure or don’t know where to begin with different attire, here are a couple tips to remember  when shopping for undergarments and things to think about before you leave the house. You’ll thank me later. 🙂

  • Proper fit is as important with undergarments as with the clothing that goes over them, especially those designed for shaping or support. Too loose undergarments are ineffective; too tight leads to unwanted and unflattering bulges.
  • If you are going to wear formal attire, wear support undergarments aka “shapers” to get a seamless look. One-pieces work especially well unless you are wearing something strapless.
  • For dresses that have low backs or plunging necklines, wearing a regular bra is not an option. However, there are specialty bras that can solve your problem: strapless, convertible, backless and adhesive bras are available at almost all retail intimate stores. Another trick, especially for low-cut dresses, is dress tape — a special double-sided tape that keeps fabric in place and is easy to remove.
  • Get measured for a bra at least twice per year by a professional bra fitter.
  • Select the proper  undergarment hue for the clothing you are wearing. Wearing dark colored or white undergarments under lightweight and light colored fabrics can mean the undergarments are clearly visible. For most ethnicities and skin tones, beige is the preferred hue, becoming invisible beneath many of the sheerest fabric types. If you’re darker in complexion black works.
  • If you want to looked polished, select the proper underwear for the garment you are wearing. Wearing low-rise jeans and thong underwear is so uncouth, as are revealed bra straps.
  • If you must wear a tub-top, wear a strapless bra.
  • Hosiery is something that has become known as outdated over the past few years. However, it is making a comeback, as are leggings. Considering hosiery comes in a wide array of colors, patterns and lengths, it can be paired with any evening outfit or dress skirt. When it comes to hosiery, make sure it matches properly with your outfit and the occasion and make sure a level of taste is present … in other words, do not wear fishnet stockings to a business meeting or when meeting your boyfriend’s parents.
  • Undergarments can be very sexy garments in their own right, but know the difference between underwear and lingerie. Underwear generally has a function in the outfit, while lingerie’s function is primarily fashion. Save the matching bra and panty sets for the appropriate setting, because your bra may work with a shirt, but yout panties could be the wrong cut for your skirt/pants, you get the point.

BEFOR YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE ASK YOURSELF (or someone who’s gonna be truthful…)Can I see my panties threw these pants? Are they too tight? Is there a panty-line? (if they are the right size, the seam may just be too thick) Is my bra too tight?

Here is a little test I do. Bend forward and check to see if your boobs fall out your bra (it’s too small), or if the waist of your pants stay in place (no one wants to see your crack, or your thong). It take all of two seconds to see. (If I’m gonna be dancing, jumping around serves the same purpose lol)



  • Invest in one full body shaper (pair with formal wear and form fitting dresses)
  • One bottom shaper (pair with maxi dresses and skirts, it looks so much better than a thong)
  • 3-4 everyday t-shirt bras (1-white, 1-beige, 1-black etc)
  • Cotton panties (I love Gaps underwear)
  • 1 pair of opaque black stockings, and 1 pair of sheer black stockings

COST- Undergarments can be pricey depending on where you go and the semi-annual sale at Vicky’s can leave you with only cute leftovers that may not be flattering for you. I love going to Marshalls and TJMaxx for things like this, because you’ll find name brand items for a fraction of the original cost. Also take advantage of the sales and coupons(sunday paper) at department store like Macy’s and JCPenny’s. If you live near an outlet mall, stores like Bali and Jockey have great prices as well.

  • Last but not least, COMFORT is everything. If your undergarments fit properly you will be comfortable and exude the confidence to pull off just about any outfit.

Good Morning!

“Attachment Parenting…a white people thing.”

Today I stumbled across an article on of all places, that raised the question of “attachment parenting” being a white/caucasian thing. After reading it, I replied saying that the article was absolutely ABSURD and that the only thing white about attachment parenting, is the men who gave a name to it. See white men like Dr. Sears and John Bowlby, basically put a label (as they like to do with EVERYTHING) on what Africans and any other people of color have been doing since the beginning of time! From “wearing your baby” and “co-sleeping” (again with the labels) to breast feeding, THIS is the norm with most cultures, but has not been accepted or openly tolerated by the western culture until recently. Or is it?

These techniques were and are probably still looked at as things only poor or indigenous people practice, but despite the association, they had the right idea. The TRADITION and ART of “Baby wearing” was a NECESSITY not some type of fad and the use of strollers (which grew popular with the British) was counter productive in more ways than one. Honestly when I went to a group meeting about “wearing” your babies, I felt it a tad odd to see a white woman hosting it. I wasn’t used to seeing white women with their babies tied to them.  However living in San Diego for a year got me used to seeing these granola white women more involved in nurturing their children, it even made me wonder why don’t I see more black women extra involved with nurturing their babies in this way?

I think this whole uproar in breast-feeding/attachment parenting, with high society white women is a shock perhaps only to
white men, and unfortunately some black women. I’m not mad at nor am I putting down white women who adopted these methods, but I am disappointed that this is yet another thing most black women have  abandoned and allowed white men and women to take credit for.
It is my belief that the US as a whole needs to widen it’s perspectives, and black women, we need to realize that this is OUR history. This is what we do! It is NOT a white people thing.  We don’t nurse because celebrities are doing it, we do it because thats what God made breast for and it IS the best way to nurture our babies. Everything else after that is the ALTERNATIVE. You see not too long ago white women who were rich and famous did not raise their own children (a lot of them today still don’t). Hell even if they were moderately well off they had other women, such as black women (nannies) raising their children. “In fact, slave owners used and purchased black women as wet nurses for their own children, often forcing these mothers to stop nursing their own infants to care for others.(


Why, black women, are we allowing the media to teach us something that is a major part of OUR culture, OUR history? Furthermore, why are we still allowing some white man to TELL us what is right when is comes to child rearing, as if they didn’t first learn from our ancestors? They if anyone are THEE furthest example of a nurturer. Mothers on all levels are constantly trying to figure out the best ways to nurture and care for their children. For the most part all mothers want to make sure our children are well balanced and reach their optimum potential.Why are we thinking that it’s a white thing along with everything else thats good?  The only thing that comes to mind is miseducation, and a heavy reliance on someone elses opinion, that may not have your best interest. Bottomline? OPEN YOUR MIND TO WHATS INNATELY WITHIN YOU!

When Talking in Front of Your Child Goes Wrong!

Over the weekend we took Vida to the local pool, as many other families did. As I was playing with Vida in the water a little girl approached us, wanting to play with Vida. Of course she was asking lots of questions like “what’s her name?, what’s my name? how old is she?, and could she hold her?”. It was very cute! However it was when she asked where Vida’s daddy was, it became interesting. After I pointed to him on the side of the pool, she began telling me how after she grows up and has her baby that she’s gonna leave the father because she won’t need a man! I then asked her, why she didn’t want a husband for her and her baby, and she didn’t answer.

Now if you don’t see anything wrong with her comments, perhaps your on the wrong website! As a black woman who is pro-family, it truly saddened me to hear a young 8 year old black girl obviously regurgitating what she hears her mother, grandmother, or aunties say. Her statements brought a couple questions to me, such as, why is her mother or whoever having such adult conversations around her? Does she have a father or  male presence around to counter these teachings? When I spoke with my sister about what happened, she told me that a little black boy told her that he was gonna just leave the baby with its mother because he didn’t need to be there. Now I’m not going to assume all black folks are teaching their children these things. They could be learning it from tv, or friend’s family, or their family members… but as adults shouldn’t we be more cognizant of what children hear us discussing?

Too many times I have witnessed friend’s mothers, and even my very own mother (RIP) trash talk their children’s father in front of the children. I am here to tell you ladies and gentlemen just in case you didn’t know, that that shit is NOT ok! Regardless if the other parent is not the best or is the worst person ever, do not discuss the issues you have with them in front of your child or children! If you are a single mother or father, do not allow your child to believe that single parenthood is a normal thing. Yes being a single parent happens in our society due to a ton of reasons, but that is not a burden for our children to bear. We need to teach our children that having a spouse to raise children is very important, and its good for everybody. Why perpetuate that slave mentality!? Yes I said “slave mentality” or like my father says accepting “mediocrity”.

It is up to us as parents to set examples for our children. There is no need to teach them that they will have to endure parenting alone. There are already too many missing fathers out there in our communities, so there is no need to perpetuate that at an early age. Let’s uplift our children, and teach them how to be good to others, show them love, so that they can love others. Give them a chance to not automatically expect that their future relationships will go horribly wrong. I hope that is not too much to ask for?

How LOVE should be…

I saw this in my face book timeline this morning and I figured I would share. How do you view LOVE? Wether its your friend’s, family, boyfriend, husband, wife, or children it’s all about the love we share with them…. Allow your loved ones to be who they are! They will in turn love you for who you are….

Forced Sterilized Victims of Raleigh N.C. to receive NO Money!

Elaine Riddick of Atlanta, has said she was raped and then sterilized after giving birth to a son when she was 14.

When I first read about the victims who were forced to be sterilized in N.C., I knew they wouldn’t get funds in return. I hate to say that, but its true! When has any black person, who has been a victim of the government experimentation been repaid for their anguish?? Its as if the committees meet and automatically agree to not pay regardless of the circumstances. And given that this happened in a republican state adds to my lack of surprise. When I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Senator Austin Allran said this:

“If you could lay the issue to rest, it might be one thing. But I’m not so sure it would lay the issue at rest because if you start compensating people who have been ’victimized’ by past history, I don’t know where that would end,” Republican Sen. Austin Allran said.

OH! So America is NOT in the business of giving reparations to blacks because its a slippery slope to all the money you owe us for building this country for FREE! However America didn’t seem to mind helping the “Jews” obtain  reparations, from their holocaust. This forced sterilization occurred between 1929-1974, and it was well documented. But with people like the Rockefellar’s funding the program, they have enough money, and the government in their pocket to make sure this situation doesn’t get out of hand.  America was already doing its own “mad scientist” experiments on the people who were deemed mentally incompetent, black soldiers, poor blacks, really anyone who wasn’t “the cream of the crop” . America called it eugenics, and they felt as if you were not blonde hair, blue eyed (nordic appearance) then you were unfit to procreate, which is what happened to the people of Raleigh North Carolina.

“People as young as 10 were sterilized, in some cases for not getting along with schoolmates, or for being promiscuous. Although officials obtained consent from patients or their guardians, many did not understand what they were signing.”

I truly feel for the people involved in this horrible situation. If our own country and local government won’t help and support us when they make mistakes, than who will? Which further makes me believe “we are all we got”…

Although the article says that eugenics is a thing of the past… well think again. The  eugenics movement has reinvented itself, and is called “modern eugenics, human genetic engineering” etc… Hey don’t take my word for any of this please view the many links I added to the article to read for yourself.

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