What is a doula?

What is a doula?.

“There is no Orisha (deity) like Mother, it is mother that is worthy to be praised.”

 

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STAY AT HOME MOM 101

Annie Lee ‘Spin Cycle’

Top Ten Do’s and Don’ts in no particular order….

1. Unless you’re up and dressed for the day, try not to let your man come home seeing you in the same clothes, especially your night-clothes! I’m not saying beat your face and get fly. But at least put on a fresh shirt (spit-up and cooking stains are not sexy lol). Even if you haven’t had a chance to shower yet, make your stress look sexy. Easy fix…buy cute lounge wear, like comfy dresses, or if you have sweat pants opt for a fitted shirt or tank top. Try Gap Body.

2. Throw on a pair of heels/wedges and style your hair at least once a week when the family goes out. Not only will it be refreshing to your mans eyes, but it’ll help you feel good as well.

3. Cook a meal AT LEAST twice a week. Casserole dishes are simple and delicious if you’re pressed for time or the baby is hanging on your leg. Ex. A can of soup(like cream of mushroom/chicken), rice, chicken, and veggies. Or Veggies (zucchini/tomato/spinach), pasta and cheese. My favorite go to is baked chicken with a side and salad, because its prep and go.

4. Keep your toes right and lips moisturized! Just do it! If you don’t have the money or time to get a pedi do it yourself! 2min pedi!

Annie Lee ‘Full Set or Fill’

5. Make time for yourself. I can not stress this enough. If not a whole day, at least 2 or 3 hrs once or twice a week. How you feel personally is vital when taking care of the family.

6. Nurture your relationship FIRST.  If mommy and daddy are good, baby will inevitably be too. It’s so easy to put the kids first and neglect your partners needs, but trust me, children benefit from the love  and strong bond between their parents.

Annie Lee ‘Love Song’

7. Deep clean the house once a week with your significant other, that way the only thing you’ll have to do  is put baby’s stuff away toward the end of the day. If you have older children 3 and up they should be able to pick up after themselves.

8. If you’re not too tired try waking up at least 1 hour before everyone else. This gives you some uninterrupted “me time” to sip some tea or coffee, sort some laundry, work out and shower.

9. Don’t try and be like the other moms on the block by comparing your day/schedule/routine or lack there of to their’s. Do what works for you and your family.

10. Eat clean to stay energized and keep your body and mind active! If you have things to do around the house, strap that baby on and get to it! Also stimulate your brain with a good book. Reading baby books and watching ‘Yo Gabba Gabba’ can take a toll on you.

Did we leave anything out?? We wanna hear from you!

Annie Lee ‘Steeping and Soaking’

FRIENDSHIP ETIQUETTE

It has come to our attention that not everyone knows how to maintain friends thru thick and thin. Friendship is very important and very necessary among black women. Being able to trust and show love towards another black women is vital in order to build stronger communities!  Your friendships are a reflection of YOU, and not being able to maintain at least a few close ones says a lot about your character. I’m so tired of hearing “I can’t be friends with other females”. Grow up and take responsibility for YOUR actions! It can’t be everyone else ALL the time.  It’s really quite simple if you follow these rules with your closest girlfriends. Peace and LOVE!

1-Honesty

A true friend is always honest no matter what.

It is your duty to tell the truth, even when you know that the truth may hurt and possibly even cost you your friendship (which it won’t if you follow the other 9 rules below).

2-Reliability

A true friend is someone you can rely on.

When you make a promise you will always honor it, and when you know you won’t be able to stick to your promise it’s best to be honest and tell your friend that you can’t keep to the promise.

If you say that you’ll do something or be somewhere at a certain date and time, then be there no matter what.

3-Respect

A true friend respects time, property and beliefs, choices and changes.

  • Time is respected by not wasting it. Be punctual for appointments and let your friend know if you’ll be late or can’t make it at all.
  • Property is respected by not damaging it. Treat other people’s belongings with care and love.
  • Beliefs are respected by not judging. If you know that your friend has certain beliefs and morals, respect them, even if you don’t agree with them.

4- Don’t disappear as soon as you get a new boy toy

There is nothing more annoying than the friend who gets a new boyfriend, and then ditches her friend’s. Only to come crawling back after they have separated. The repeat…

Don’t cancel your plans with your friend or let your friend down just because you want to be with someone you’re interested in.

If the guy or girl you are interested in is really special to you, you can always ask your friend first and they’ll likely understand. But a true friend doesn’t drop you to be with someone else.

5-Selfless

Don’t think about yourself all the time. And don’t do something just for financial or material gain.

6-Loyalty

A true friend you will stand up for you when you need it. Also when you don’t ask them to.

A true friend is not for sale and will never do anything that will compromise your success or happiness.

7-Patience

A true friend will be patient with you. They are understanding when things need time to change or get better and won’t judge you even when you make the same mistake over and over. As long as you’re making the effort to get better.

8- Laugh Together Cry Together

A true friend is not a fair-weather friend. They are there for  you in good times and in bad times. A true friend also shares their own success with you when they achieve it.

9-Constructive Criticism

A true friend is not scared to tell you what you’re doing wrong . They’re not scared to seriously intervene if they see that something is seriously bad for you or if you’re going down the wrong path. But they always support their criticism with advice that can help you improve.

Don’t just say “You’re going to go bankrupt with your new business plan”. Tell them why you think their new business plan will fail. E.g. “You’re putting all your money into something that is not real, or there is an expiry date on the products you’re buying and I don’t think you’ll be able to sell even 10% of what you’re buying”.

10- Forgiveness

A true friend has the ability to forgive. We all make mistakes at times. We may even break one or more of these golden rules of being a true friend, but if you realize that you messed up and you really show that you’re sorry and try to make things right, a true friend will be able to forgive you.


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